


Never Tear Us Apart

by robin_the_robo



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Five has a panic attack, Gen, mentions of injuries but nothing graphic, no ships only siblings who care about each other, set in 2019, they just travelled back to the present and got thrown out of the Sparrow Academy basically, they're doing their best but communication is REALLY not their strong suit huh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28111647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robin_the_robo/pseuds/robin_the_robo
Summary: "Fine? Fine?!" Five left the wall he was holding onto and almost collapsed. Luther walked around Diego and caught him just in time, holding him up with one hand"What's fine? That I saw you die again and again? That we got killed in the barn and I thought that was it, after 45 years spent trying to get back to you and save your asses?!" He continued, trying to get Luther to let go of him. He was sobbing again.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 65





	Never Tear Us Apart

It had been a long day. Hell, it had been the longest couple weeks ever, and for once in Five's life, it seemed like they didn't have any impending apocalypse in their immediate future.  
Well, this didn't mean everything was solved, as they had been thrown out of what used to be their home, the Umbrella Academy, by a Reginald Hargreeves who was no longer their father and wanted nothing to do with them. 

"-and let's be honest, we're all exhausted, we should crash somewhere and talk about this tomorrow when we're feeling a bit more rested" 

Five hadn't been listening. What he had been doing was staring into space and feeling utterly empty.  
God, he was so tired and everything hurt, so much so that he couldn't even tell if it was because of the gunshot from the Handler when he had gone temporarily back to the commission, or because of the rubble he had been buried under while at Sissy's farm, or because he didn't exactly remember the last time he had eaten anything. 

"-money, yeah. We can rent three doubles. Allison and Vanya could sleep in one room, then Klaus with-"

"I'd like Vanya to share a room with me, actually." Five said. It had been the first time he had spoken since they had landed back in 2019.  
"If she wants to" he added, glancing at Vanya with his shoulders hunched and hands in the pockets of his shorts. 

"Uhm, yeah. Sure" mumbled Vanya, giving him a concerned look. She had regained her memories about four hours ago and she was still slowly sorting out everything.  
Five wouldn't have blamed her for lashing out, but she was holding it together fairly well. He was impressed. 

Half an hour later Five looked as Allison talked to the lady at a motel's desk, telling her to please hurry up with the rooms as they all had had a long day. 

"Of course dear" replied the lady, then she looked in Five's direction "your kid looks so tired, he really needs a good night's sleep" 

Everyone glanced at him standing slumped against the wall like they were waiting for him to murder the lady. He sighed extremely loudly, lacking the energies for any reaction stronger than that. It was like now that he didn't have a clear and time-sensitive objective anymore he had gone from being a coiled spring to barely being able to stand up. He hated it, but he didn't feel like there was much he could do about it right now.

Keys in hand, they all walked down the corridor and went each inside their respective rooms.  
Five waited for Vanya to unlock theirs and then made his way to the bed farther from the door.

Vanya sighed as she locked the room behind them, her back to the rest of the room. 

"Listen Five, I know I caused the apocalypse you got stuck in for all that time, and I'm so sorry. It's kind of eating me inside," she said, still facing away as she didn't trust herself to keep talking while looking at him "but you don't need to constantly keep an eye on me, I'm not gonna blow up or anything, okay?".

No response. Weird. Five was many things, but quiet wasn't usually one of them.  
She turned around.  
Five was laying in bed curled up on his side on top of the blanket, shoes and all, fast asleep. 

Oh. That was… kind of touching, honestly, that he trusted her enough to be unconscious and vulnerable around her. She thought he was going to watch her sleep all night or something equally weird and controlling. She felt bad for thinking that. 

Would he get offended if she were to try and take off his shoes and tuck him in? Part of her knew that she had thought of doing that because of the time she had spent caring for Harlan, and she missed him and Sissy so much already, but she would've done it even if he hadn't looked much younger than he actually was, right?  
She reasoned that it was just her making sure her brother slept comfortably. 

She walked up to his bed and took off his shoes, placing them next to the nightstand. When she went to take off his blazer too, though, she noticed a red spot on the side of his sweater vest. Knowing her brother there was a fifty-fifty chance of it being either someone else's or Five's own blood, and at this point she just wanted him to be okay. 

She took off his sweater vest, opened the shirt, and raised the white tank top underneath it. They were all stained in the same spot, and she found what looked like a gunshot wound. It didn't look extremely recent and it had clearly been previously cleaned up and bandaged, but Five must've torn the stitches open while fighting. He was also full of bruises, but there wasn't much she could do about that.

Vanya was pretty sure she could get a first aid kit at the help desk downstairs, and their dad had taught all of them how to take care of injuries. She would also get something to eat and drink at the vending machine since she was pretty sure he hadn't had anything but coffee recently. She headed out, turning off the light and closing the door behind herself, and went back downstairs to the lady at the desk. 

Five woke up with a start, heart racing and tears streaming down his face, and he scrambled to sit upright, sending a jolt of pain through his body.  
In his dream he laid down on his back inside a barn, surrounded by his dying siblings and struggling to breathe while his lungs filled up with blood, and even now that he was awake -or at least his body was- he could still feel that horrible sensation as he gasped for air like a fish out of water.

It didn't help that the room was pitch black. He got up with a choked up noise as his whole body protested against it.

Where was he? What had happened after the Handler had gunned them down?  
Were they… dead? 

No. No, they couldn't have died. Something… something had happened next but his mind, still asleep, wasn't providing any answers.

Vanya. He was supposed to be with Vanya.  
Why? Where was everyone?  
He had to find them before it was too late. 

Five made his way across the room, stumbling over pieces of furniture and holding onto anything for support. He opened the door and found himself in a brightly lit corridor. 

"Vanya! Klaus! Diego!" he knocked on the doors next to his, screaming for his siblings as blood dripped through his white tank top, which was left exposed by his unbuttoned shirt "Luther! Allison! Fucking answer me!".  
He tried to teleport, but tired as he was and on an empty stomach, he just couldn't manage it. He kicked the door in front of him.  
"Open this fucking door or I'll tear it down myself!" 

Finally, two doors opened, and Allison and Diego appeared from their respective rooms. 

"What do you want, old man? Who did you kill now?" 

"Are you bleeding?"

"Who did I-? Who cares! Where were you?!" Five looked frantically between them "Where are the others?!" 

Luther's head poked out of the door right behind Diego, and Allison left to go drag an extremely loopy Klaus. 

"We're all here, Five. Can you please lower your voice now?" Allison asked, glancing at a few other of the motel's guests opening their doors to see what was happening. 

"No no no, we're not all here, Allison" Five retorted, one hand on the wall to hold himself up and that weird manic smile that had no happiness in it which they had all become familiar with "Where's Vanya? We need to find her, now!" 

Allison turned on the lights in Five and Vanya's room. Nothing seemed amiss.  
"I'm sure she just went downstairs, Everything's fine!" 

"Fine? Fine?!" Five left the wall he was holding onto and almost collapsed. Luther walked around Diego and caught him just in time, holding him up with one hand "What's fine? That I saw you die again and again? That we got killed in the barn and I thought that was it, after 45 years spent trying to get back to you and save your asses?!" He continued, trying to get Luther to let go of him. He was sobbing again.

"Whelp. That's it, he finally lost it" Diego sighed.

"Who got killed?" asked Klaus, who was still rubbing his eyes and pretending to be awake.

"Five, you're losing blood. I'll go look for Vanya, but please just go lie down in the meantime" Allison told him, and Luther tightened his hold on Five, who kicked and punched, trying to get free.  
She could hear him scream all the way from the stairs as she went looking for their sister as fast as possible. 

Vanya had found the first aid kit. The lady at the help desk had asked if everything was okay, and she had managed to convince her that it was just a scratch and they did not need help. Now she was standing in front of a vending machine and using all the change she had to buy any snack she thought Five would like and pour them in the plastic bag the lady had kindly supplied her with. It was mostly sweets with peanut butter in them and a couple of water bottles.  
She was still buying the last snack when she heard someone running behind her. She turned around and instinctively flinched, only to see it was Allison looking quite upset. 

"Hey Allison, did something happen?"

"Vanya, I've been looking for you! Five's freaking out and bleeding everywhere!"

"I was just- I was grabbing a first aid kit and something to eat for him, he was asleep when I left" Vanya defended herself, showing Allison what she had gathered and already starting to feel guilty. "What happened?" 

Allison sighed "I was hoping you'd tell me. Come on, he wanted to know where you were" 

Vanya followed her upstairs as fast as she could.  
Five wanted to know where she was? Had he woken up and gotten scared she had left? That seemed absurd to her. Contrary to what her eyes suggested Five was a grown man, not a child who got scared if he woke up alone at night. And even as a kid, he had never been the kind to get scared at night, or even in general.

For the first time since he had reappeared back into their lives, Vanya felt they didn't really know their brother anymore. He looked and sounded the same, but there was so much he wasn't telling them, so much he had been through in these 45 years away from home.

She started hearing her brothers' voices long before she could see them down the corridor.

"-not that hurt! I'm okay! Just let me go look for her!" 

"You can barely stand up, would you stop kicking me? Klaus, a little help?!" 

The moment Five's eyes landed on Vanya, he stopped screaming, and frantically looked between all of his siblings to make sure that they were all there. Luther, thinking he had finally calmed down, loosened his grip on him, instead just helping him stand since he seemed pretty unstable. 

Five, bleeding and disheveled and with tear streaks down his cheeks, looked relieved. Then he scowled at her. 

"Where were you?!" He shouted, immediately prompting all of his siblings to shush him. And yes, Five seemed worried, but Vanya decided she wasn't going to have him talk to her like she was a child. 

"I was looking for a first aid kit for you, since you didn't bother telling us you're bleeding!" she sighed. Then, more quietly, she added: "I also brought you some snacks".  
She showed him the bag full of candies from the vending machine, and Five eyes went wide. 

He made his way to her as fast as he could at the moment, and grabbed the first snack he could put his hands on, unwrapping it and shoving half of it in his mouth like he hadn't seen food in forever. Knowing how much Five could forget about basic bodily functions when busy, that was most likely the case.  
After having devoured the chocolate bar in a matter of seconds, Five took a long, tired sigh and mumbled something. 

"What's that, old man?" asked Diego, looking more tired and irritated by the second.

Five looked down at the carpeted floor.  
"I said that I'm sorry for waking you up. I overreacted. It was childish of me." He said, enunciating each word like it was physically painful for him.  
He looked small, defeated. All the fury from before was gone. He looked close to tears again. 

Diego opened his mouth, intending to say some sort of cutting comment, but now it just seemed cruel. He closed his mouth again. 

"It's okay, Five. Are you good to go back to your room with Vanya now?" asked Allison with a tired approximation of a smile. She gave the first aid kit back to her sister. Klaus nodded along as she spoke, rubbing his eyes and yawning loudly. 

"I'm not a damn ch-!" Five stopped himself. After his outburst of tonight, he felt in no position to argue about anything. "I'm okay, yes. Goodnight".

Everyone else let out a collective sigh of relief and went back to their rooms, leaving only Five and Vanya in the corridor.  
Five rummaged through the plastic bag still in Vanya's hands and grabbed a bottle of water and another candy bar. He downed the water in one go as he entered the room with slow unsteady steps.

Vanya once again closed the door behind them. This time when she turned around Five was sitting on the side of the bed he had briefly fallen asleep on before. He had discarded the empty water bottle on the floor near him, taken off his shoes, and he had raised his white tank top to examine the pulled stitches in his side, while on the other hand he held the candy bar he was currently eating. 

"So… what's up with the wound in your side?" She asked, sitting next to him on the bed with the first aid kit in her lap.

Five chuckled humorlessly "Parting gift from my ex-employer" then he put down the empty wrapper of his second snack and looked at the kit "Thanks for that. Give it to me and I'll handle it from here"

"No no no, I'm not letting you give yourself stitches, that's absurd" Vanya replied, giving him a horrified look and holding the kit closer to her.  
Once again Five seemed about to argue, but he instead just let himself fall back on the bed with a pained noise so that she could have better access to his wound. 

"Fine. No anesthetics though" 

"What? Why?!" 

"Because I said so" Five replied harshly "Either you do it my way or I'm doing it myself" 

For a brief moment Vanya considered just sticking him with a needle the moment he looked away, but not only was she sure he had better reflexes than her even as bone-tired and injured as he was now, but she didn't want to betray his trust. She was sure he had a valid reason for why he'd rather endure getting stabbed repeatedly with a curved needle. It probably had to do with whatever had happened after she had left.  
Finally, she figured out a compromise.

"One condition:" 

"Oh, do tell"

"The moment you scream or I see you in too much pain you're getting anesthesia whether you want to or not"

Five let out the least reassuring chuckle she had ever heard. "Sure, deal" he said, looking too sure of himself. He even opened another snack and started eating it. 

She disinfected her hands and the area around the wound and started giving him stitches. Five let out a small grunt when she started, but was perfectly silent after that and he even kept eating the snack.  
Vanya found that disturbing. She was sewing his flesh back together and he was having no reactions? Her mind came up with many different but equally horrific scenarios that could've lead to Five's frankly creepy pain tolerance.

"What happened after I left the room, Five?" Vanya asked. She was done with the stitches, and was putting clean bandages on the wound "Did you have a nightmare or something? You looked really spooked."

The moment she was done he sat back up and rolled the tank top back down. He glared at the floor.  
"I don't want to talk about it."

Vanya didn't insist. She wouldn't want to talk about what she had just been through either. They all needed time. 

"You're right," she said, closing back the first aid kit and standing up "I'll let you sleep now, we're all tired-"

"No, wait!" Five looked… scared? He mumbled 'shit' under his breath as he tried to find his words "We can talk about something else. Since you wanted to talk."

This Vanya recognized. What it meant, what this had always meant even when they were kids, was "Wait, don't go. I'm sad and scared but too proud to ask for help. Don't leave me alone with my thoughts". It was the only way Five knew how to ask for help when he was feeling down and they both knew it.  
He had never been good at expressing his emotions. Truth to be told, none of them were. 

He moved towards the bed's headboard so he could lean against the pillow, and she sat back down at the end of the bed, facing him. She grabbed a chocolate bar too, determined to stay awake until he was feeling calm enough to sleep. After all, they had done that for each other countless times as children. 

"So, uh. Tell me about… Sissy and Harlan, was it?" he asked, gesturing vaguely with his half-eaten snack in hand.  
She smiled. He and Ben have always been the only ones to ask her about her life. Unfortunately, they were also the ones who hadn't been around for most of it. 

She told him about them, and then Five, ever the time traveler, went backward in time with his questions. So she had been playing in an orchestra? Did she still like to read? When had she left the Academy?  
It was just like when they were kids and Five would let her talk about whatever she wanted while he listened intently. It had made her feel special when everybody else kept telling her she was completely ordinary, to be one of the few elects that could hold Five's elusive attention. 

Five fell asleep mid-sentence while remembering one of the times all of them had snuck out of the academy, and Vanya made him lie down and tucked him under the blankets.  
This time if he woke up she would've been barely three feet from him, ready to spring to action and calm him down. She knew she couldn't possibly know what exactly he had been through and what was plaguing him, not if he didn't tell her, but they were finally starting to be there for one another, for all of their siblings, and that was enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this a few months ago when Season 2 reawakened my hyperfixation for this series, and it was meant just for me and my lovely friend Sporks, but I just reached 500 followers on Tumblr (@robin-the-robo btw, would love to chat with u there!) and I really wanted to publish something to celebrate, so... this one will do I guess!


End file.
